evolve

Posted by on Oct 27, 2013 in blog | 0 comments

evolve

One of the hardest challenges I’ve had in the last year is accepting my limitations. I never knew I had them before.

My head is where it hurts the most. For example today I wanted to do yoga but there was too much dog hair on the floor (shedding season so cant keep up with monkey) I sweep up the dog hair and that leaves me too pooped to do anything but recover for pretty much the rest of the day. I feel an urge to paint…an overwhelming need to throw some paint on a canvas and go go go. I get the canvas ready turn on a fan open the tubes and Im exhausted.  I want to leave the house to go to ….well do anything. I get dressed I get to the door…Im exhausted.  Some great days I can get as far as beginning something…getting into it and then crapping out.  THAT WALL. Its unrelenting.

Anyone that knows me well knows I finish what I start. I follow through with promises. I set my sight on something and don’t stop until I complete it.    It hurts to say this but thats not me anymore.  I have to swallow that pride or maybe spit it out completely but my stubbornness just isn’t enough anymore.

Its very frustrating and maybe the hardest lesson I have to learn. letting go.  it seems like everything I used to be is not who Im able to be now.

Life is filled with wonder and miracles. So many cliches about bending, change, adapting blah de blah de blah…Im up to bat.  I hope I can make it around the bases.