mysterious life

Posted by on Jan 12, 2014 in blog | 0 comments

mysterious life

Life has a way of always keeping us on its toes. Growing, learning, adapting…

Where I grew up you would see trees that were cut down with a slab of paint over the stump. I learned this was because the tree would grow back stronger and bigger if they didn’t put that paint down. My lesson here was Yes, you may very well get cut down but DONT put a slab of paint over you to obstruct growth. However painful you will grow stronger.

For the last few months Ive been having extreme abdominal pain. Pretty sure its not at all related to the MS. I got my test results back and the doctors are anxious to remove all my inside girl parts. (hysterectomy)  They said I will need to be hospitalized due to the MS & they consider it a major surgery.  They would like to use Robotic surgery. As much as I love robots I still don’t want them cutting me open.  Im not entirely against surgery especially when I believe it is warranted but I do get the impression that they are jumping the gun. This is the first option they give me. The doctor didn’t seem open to discussion or question (beyond handing me a 250 page book on the operation) To be honest Im not convinced they even know what the problem is. They said there are fibroids and cysts and they believe this is whats causing the pain. Im currently looking for other options. Not only because of the hasty decision on one opinionated and hurried doctor but because we have yet to have any insurance to cover a major operation or a second opinion for that matter.  So I am dealing with the pain for now. We are in line for medical coverage. Holding our breath and all.  They prescribed me Codeine, Tramadol, Vicodin, etc etc etc…none of it helps w/ pain…just adds in nausea and dizziness. so nope.

Keiths truck is still not running. We gave our savings (moving monies) to a mechanic to repair it but he’s been on vacation since. (mexico and no #) so the truck is dead in the driveway. Keiths been doing ride alongs to make some money. Riding along with his co-workers to assist. But that has not yielded much.  We’ve been pushing our utility bills further and further to avoid shut off and it looks like this is the last months rent we will be able to pay. So fate seems to be narrowing things down for us.

We will be selling most of what we have to move. Best we can. neither of us are very skilled at garage sales, ebay or craigslist marketing. So I pray we will have some help from above or on land. 🙂  I am continuing to create art. At the moment a few musician CD designs, graphic covers and some painting and illustrating on my own. The CD & graphics are for friends in need that don’t have the funds to pay me. I cannot possibly refuse to help these good people for so many reasons. the bottom line being if I can help I always will.  (and its an honor that these talented artists like my art and want it) …it also helps me take my mind off my pain. (that is if I can get upright to work)

I LOVE my life. Even face down in the worst pain I am filled with the gratitude of all I have been given. I am overwhelmed with the mysteries of life. creativity, endless possibilities and the vast love that exists on the planet. How enchanting life is with its ups, downs, swirls and delights.

I am excited & curious to see where Keith and I will be in a couple months. Wherever it is I know it will be perfect.