I can of mine own self do nothing

Posted by on Sep 2, 2015 in blog | 0 comments

I can of mine  own self do nothing

By our own power, we do nothing; even in loving, it is Love that loves through us.

Yesterday, I had 3 back to back MRIs of my brain, neck & spine; both with & without contrast. There’s lesions (tears) in these areas. that’s what causes the neurological trouble. The MRIs show if they’re getting better, worse or staying the same. I have 3 more tomorrow. I feel a bit beat up at the moment. I’m not sure why.  Maybe its easier to be the mixer than the batter (for lack of a better metaphor)

I’ve spent the last few days contemplating chronic pain. It’s an interesting and quite common thing to suffer from chronic pain. I found the only way to live with it is with adamant gratitude for the blessings in my life. This probably doesn’t make any sense. It’s certainly a bit tricky to find things to be thankful for when you are suffering. It’s against almost everything we are taught.

I’ve often felt like the MS challenges have been a trial of sort. Maybe it’s more that it’s molding me in a different way. Being forced, in a sense, to give up the past and everything I knew. Accepting who I am now, even with its limitations. This is not always so easy. Even surrounded with people who love you it is a scary and sometimes an isolating journey. I think Joseph Campbell would compare it to going into the belly of the whale. That part of the myth or legend where every hero must battle their dragon on their own.  And that’s the catch. There’s no such thing as on your own. It’s only when we surrender that we can slay the dragon.

Life is funny isn’t it?