Art and the belittlement of Social Security

Posted by on Sep 18, 2012 in blog | 0 comments

So much seems to be happening and yet nothing at at all.  I finished my first series of paintings since the MS struck its mighty blow at my hands and head.  Surprisingly to me they are very serene and quiet. I thought I had much rage and confusion that the emotions would pour out into a violent slab of outrage on canvas. I saw deep splashes and depths. That gives you a little insight into the artistic process, at least for me. I could imagine a whole bunch of wonderful things I’m going to create and then once I approach that blank canvas what comes out is of its own accord.  A lot like life. Make all the plans in the world but you never know where you’ll end up.I’m happy that I seem to be at peace in some way. Maybe the exercise, diet and meditation, all the work I’ve been doing is paying off? Or maybe its the drugs. 🙂

Todays meal was a bite of Kale (2 stems), Ginger green tea (fresh ground ginger), 2 scoops of Diatomaceous Earth, 2 scoops Flax seed, 1/2 cup of cherries, A big hands full of Dandelion Roots (weird eating them after growing up playing in ’em), goji berries, sunflower, pumpkin and sesame seeds.  I am surprised I don’t feel and look better. I guess I would feel much worse f I weren’t working so hard. I hope so anyway. Hate to waste all this good behavior.

I filed for Social Security Disability in early February.  I heard from them for the first time today. They scheduled me to see 3 different doctors to inspect my condition. They said they’d mail me the dates.  According to everyone I spoke to 98% of people get denied benefits the first time they apply. Thats why theres so many lawyers and agencies available for Appeals.  WHY!?? Why am I going through this to find out theres a 2% chance I’ll get accepted no matter what my condition.  Why not just skip to the appeal and save everybody a lot of time and effort?  I had to file out a questionnaire that was 20 pages long. It had to be filled out by me alone. I CANT WRITE!!! I tried calling my local Social Security office to ask for assistance or tell me my options and they never returned my call.  I had 2 days too file the paperwork. I used my really old scanner/printer and downloaded a trial version of photoshop scanned the 20 pages and created text boxes in the answer parts, typed my answers and merged/flattened the image to find out I didn’t have ink. Ran to the store bought $30 ink. loaded it, printed it. The instructions were very specific it had to be returned in this particular envelope and include these specific documents.  No matter how I folded them 23 pages DOES NOT fit in a standard envelope!  I did my best and I think it was a day late going out.  It took me THREE days to use a mouse for photoshop. Something that would have taken minutes if I could WRITE.  All I could do was imagine people who were REALLY wrecked with a handicap….If it was so difficult for me how does anybody go through this?  To find out that only 98% will be accepted? It hurts to think about.

Incidentally, if anybody is reading this and they know of how I could have filled out that form better than how I did it. PLEASE tell me!  (Outside of taking a taxi to the social security building) How is one supposed to fill out forms? Does everyone who needs to scan documents use a trial version of photoshop?  I think I don’t know something that everyone else knows so PLEASE TELL ME!

On a happier note….I began a new series of oil paintings and I’m really excited about them. They’re very challenging because I am attempting actual form.  They are animals.  Silly strange abtracted forms…but forms none the less….more later….