Falling Down

Posted by on Mar 15, 2013 in blog | 3 comments

Falling Down

Humility is something I have been learning this year in leaps and bounds. no pun intended (as most of these lessons occurred when I was on the floor after falling down)

The first few months of my MS caused me to lose complete use of my hands and made my legs wobbly. “Foot drop” where my left foot doesn’t lift when I walk and I fall. (I was falling 3 times a day even walking slow. My whole body off balance and made even grooming myself nearly impossible.  So yep I swallowed that pride and a few times spit it back up. That was 1 year ago.

It’s been two weeks at my sisters Naturopath clinic getting intense detox from all the Heavy Metals and Prescription Medicines. (3 weeks off all meds) LOTS of stuff coming up. Physically, we can see the sludge in the Ion foot baths. But even the symptoms that since faded are surfacing. Numbness, burning, hands are closing fingers and being uncooperative, “foot drop”, imbalance etc.

These things are coming to the surface to be released.

That doesn’t just go for the physical. Mental and Emotional challenges as well.

I have not been back to this area (where I grew up) since 1996! I had no idea it had been so long.It seemed to just be a couple years. Life seems to happen and time speeds up while your not paying attention.

This is interesting … (2 + 2)

My first symptoms of MS began when my father died in 1996. My left side went numb. I was at Epitaph/Hellcat Records and ended up with mountains of medical bills and doctors telling me I would die any day of a stroke. If I had faith in doctors I would’ve probably died as they instructed that week.  Instead my rebellious self went to Paris and ended up joining the Stomp Tour.  Which brings us up to 2012, my Mom dies. 2 months later My “foot drops” my hands stop working and Tests show a diagnosis for MS. They tell me I also have the evidence of MS from 1996 on my brain but it is now “inactive” on my brain just “active” lesions on my C-Spine.  Hence the moving forward get on heavy doses of drugs etc. (=4)

…Now I’m back home. I’m in the “Belly of the Whale”, as it were.  I’m facing the demons of childhood, death of my parents….all of it.  Facing those monsters head on and saying “Ok Now thats enough.” Im ready to live and be healthy and strong.

This is some good stuff!

Keith and I are still facing financial struggles (gas shut off etc) But I KNOW this is temporary and soon we will look back at this wiser and stronger than we ever could’ve dreamed.

I sat down and wrote this because I fell down again a few minutes ago. It reminded me how far I have come in a year and how strong I will be soon.