Mad as Hell

Posted by on Jul 26, 2012 in blog | 0 comments

Mad as Hell

I would like to think that I’m not just writing this to write this. I’m hoping in some small way i can do some good with these entries. Maybe inspire, relate or even make someone smile…but I must confess my intention may not be the reality. I sit here at this moment filled with anger and want to just vent. I know it doesn’t help me to swim in circles in the negative gush of my minds whimperings. Thats where the duality comes in…My “higher” wiser better self says…yes, you are exactly where you should be and all is good. I KNOW this to be true. theres no doubt in my mind. in fact I think every human on this earth knows that on some level at the best and worst of times.

It’s just this daily grind, as we call it. It gets so frustrating and I also i’m not alone on that.

Let me just tell you my day yesterday. woke up early had 9 liquified cups of Kale, flax seed and vitamins, meditated, exercised and went to a 10 hour long infusion at the research clinic. Again, they also took 10 vials of blood and did 2 EKGs etc. The 10 hour infusion was fine, the load of benadryl and other misc meds cocktail made my eyelids lead and for hours I glimpsed parts of Gilligans Island on the TV propped in front of me.

They gave me a prescription for the pain Ive been having and called it in so I could pick it up on the way home and begin it immediately. I used the discount card I have and it came to $305! I don’t have that. It might as well be $40,005. There is no generic version of this drug. (Lyrica) The pain is , burning in my hands and an electrocution feeling down my arms and back that is continuos and sometimes unbearable.

A friend suggested medical marijuana. i asked my doctor (at the research clinic) about it and she said yes plenty of the patients in the trial use it and it reduces their pain, but she cannot prescribe it. It is legal in AZ but theres a technical loophole that she will be blacklisted if prescribing it and most doctors agree. I did find a doctor however that will prescribe it but there are no dispensaries. Im not a drug dealer! Im not even a drug user! (since I can’t afford my prescriptions!) Why is it every system set up in this United States is here to facilitate the abusers of the system and not in any way assist those who need it!!??

Why am I treated like a leper for not having insurance, when I did my darndest to get insurance. Why am I treated like a lowly leach when I apply state assistance when I’ve paid my taxes since ’86 and in no way intended to get MS and need assistance! Why am I treated like a heroin addict when I ask a simple question about the medical marijuana prescription? I’m mad as hell…